Eastside Wordsmith

Precious Little Dracula

2010-03-27T17:17:00.004+11:00

I finished reading Dracula yesterday. That's right, I finished it at this new place I won't be working at for very long because I hate long distances and my job in genral. How I wish I was breaking rocks at a bookshop closer to home. Something I'm sure I'd love a lot more than moving around a warehouse putting little boxes away.

Anyway, I finished the book and I'm very happy to say that I could see a lot that was happening within it. That's a good thing. I saw the scenery and characters and the story was a lot more easy to follow than it was the last time I tried to read it. Having all of those different points of view worked out well also because you can hear about everything that's happening first hand.

One part I was able to see in exact detail was the night Lucy Westenra died. It was night, storming, wind, and there was Lucy with her mother about to die. A lot of action was taking place and I really saw the part where the window was thrown open and Lucy went all "Yep, I've had a good run." All was well, very happy, hope the new movie will be bitchin.

In the meantime I'm about 3/4 of the way through Push by Sapphire. I'm liking it a lot, although I'm not one for enjoying childhood brutality. Reading it is a little difficult also because it's told from the perspective of Claireece Jones who is illiterate and can't spell, but it works well. Hope Sapphire writes another novel one day.

Also I got my appraisal back from the writer's centre and it was very helpful. Hoping that will appeal to the publishers...

She's Actually From Nepal

2010-03-21T14:29:00.006+11:00

Back to the Priya Tsetsang thing, I was most pleased and satisfied by the episode Belonging, with the exception of Fox8 pausing and skipping little bits at the beginning, by the way, bastards. But I liked and enjoyed what I say, as well as the episode of Lost the night before entitled Dr Linus which was Ben Linus heavy. Very nice and character driven, and to see him redeem himself for letting Alex Rousseau (his daughter) get murdered by Martin Keamy. Some good things are on as of late.

Apart from that there's very little to report on, except that I'm nearly finished with reading Dracula and I should be getting my manuscript appraisal back soon. Hoping for a lot of feedback because I want my novel to be great. Not a massive fluke like M. Night Shyamalan's early movies.

Waiting For Priya Tsetsang

2010-03-18T16:56:00.005+11:00

I'm a huge Joss Whedon (also known as God) fan, and tonights episode of Dollhouse which is named Belonging is supposed to be really good, so say the US critics who believe in mercy. When it comes to different cultures, Whedon isn't really known for incorporating Australian elements into his work (he usually does European and Asian), but not anymore.

Tonight's ep focuses on the character Sierra and her origin story. Actress who plays her, Dichen Lachman (who was some idiot on Neighbours) is a Tibet-born Aussie who is playing quite possibly the only Australian character Whedon has ever worked with, Priya Tsetsang who is getting milked- sweeeeet! There have been other Aussie elements in Buffy and Firefly, like a Watcher being killed in my capital, a demon summoning didgeridoo and the ocean world of New Melbourne, but nothing as big as Tsetsang.

I am very excited...

IAMS: I Am My Sister

2010-03-13T21:17:00.003+11:00

Well, today I saw Avatar for the fourth time- yes, that's right, the fourth time, and it was in 3D. Sadly the greater number of cinemas have stopped showing it in 2D, and so I had very little choice in the matter because the good mother wanted to see it, so I saw it in 3D. I was hesitant because other three dimensional films have given me headaches, but I'm convinced now that practice makes perfect.

It was good, I could see and understand everything that was happening. Vundabar! Mum enjoyed herself to, and that's led me to believe that us seeing sci-fi's together isn't so bad, after all Star Trek paid off. She even knew who Spock was after one second. That's all to report on, other than Iron Man 2 and Clash Of The Titans is on my agenda now, and the new Melina Marchetta book, The Pipers Son. It's a sequel to Saving Francesca and it's possibly told from the point of view of Tom McKee. Bring it on.

Alice Didn't Do It For Me

2010-03-12T19:38:00.004+11:00

Tomorrow I'll be seeing Avatar for the fourth time, and so I guess I've finally become my sister, crap! But no matter, I felt I should talk about something else that was movie related, like the new Alice In Wonderland, and I feel rather confident when I say it was terrible. Really, really terrible!

The film just looked so artificial- I know it was in 3D and had to be all blue screens, but I don't care, and that's not what Tim Burton does. He always used real sets and props and that, and everything in this movie just didn't work... and then you've got the damn screenplay to bitch on about. Didn't work, and I'm confident about this because I called up my buddy Stephandra and told her that if we ever met Linda Boyd we would kill her. YEP, IT'S COME TO THAT BIOTCH!

But I will compliment one, or maybe two things about the film. All right, two. Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter kind of hits the spot with his essentricness (is that a word) and madness and instability and all that, and the Cheshire Cat was his usual lazy and laid-back self. Those things worked for me, Topsy and Ches, and that's about it.

Shall we have a bit of tea?

About Him, The Vampire

2010-03-08T18:44:00.004+11:00

Something I should've brought up in my last posting, I've learnt of a new Dracula film to be directed by Alex Proyas, an Aussie, which will be called Dracula Year Zero, which will have Sam Worthington playing the titlular role. I was a little worried since there haven't been that many good Dracula films since Francis Ford Coppola's adaptation. However, I came across an article saying that it will be going back to the origins of Vlad the Impala, mix in some magic and not be so comercial.

When I learnt Worthington was playing the lead, I didn't know if it would be good. Others who've played Dracula in the past haven't done well, such as Dominic Purcell and Richard Roxburgh (PS Istanbul used to be Costantinople douche!) but they were in cheap looking action flicks that screwed around with the novel and myth and that's what let them down, a lot. But I must admit I had the same thoughts about Heath Ledger playing the Joker, and I was proven wrong when he wasn't slapstick or artificial, so I guess the same will happen for Worthington. Also they're both from Perth and everyone in Perth is good at doing just about anything from what I've learnt.

And finally I wanted to announce my disappointment that Avatar did not pick up the best picture award today at the Oscars. Yes, I am bummed but it got three other awards including best art direction and visual effects (of course). Also I'm going to look into seeing the film Precious: Based On The Novel "Push" By Sapphire. I've been seeing and hearing good things about it, and Mo'Nique did a good job in it and comedians playing unloveable bastards and bitches always pull it off. And a special shout out to Kathryn Biggelo, the first woman in history to win best director!

Things Have Changed

2010-03-07T16:46:00.004+11:00

Obviously a bit has changed, like the template of my blog. I decided the brown look wasn't doing anything for me, so now it's blue. I also think I stole the idea from my friend Janet, but I'm unsure, so we'll just have to find out. What else has changed, or will change, I don't know. Maybe I just want to be surprised... but this is what I am sure of said the Professor to Maryanne.

The Oscars are on tomorrow, and with the big BIG exception of seeing Ryan Seacrest and Richard Wilkins exist, I am very excited. I'm very eagre to see if Avatar will clean up, and if District 9 will win anything because if they did I will be really, really happy. People are liking sci-fi more and more which is sooooo good, and if the was more of Tricia Helfer on the screen that would top everything off.

Um, okay, apart from the stuff above, I've started to read Dracula (giving it a second crack more like it) and I'm getting into it a lot easier. I've had my copy for years and I do appreciate a good vampire tale about sin and viciousness, which from what I've heard have dwindled since the vampire has become the subject of innocent little fantasies schoolgirls have been reading. SHIT! For instance I was over at the bookshop recently and they have a whole section devoted to vampire fantasies. It's crazy, but it doesn't mean I'm against it.

Another reason I'm reading the book is because I'm planning on writing a vampire novel, which has been a plan for many years now. My idea is simple... and sinful, and is based around a new born vampire man who is trying to figure out what the hell he is. Sort of mixed with Let The Right One In, except without the bad haircuts Swedish men have become victims off. It shall take place over twelve months as the man, whom I'm calling Ash, tries to find and establish his identity. I'm not so good at doing horror, but that's what it's going to be. None of that Twilight bullshit.

Basically my good Ash will make right all the problems Edward Cullen (or Edwart Mullen in the comedy version) caused for a generation of readers, and he will do all the women he wants, drink human blood and sleep- yep, my dead people can sleep and they don't twinkle in the sunlight. Don't know what the hell Stephenie Meyer was thinking.

And I guess that's all there is to it. Wait, my manuscript appraisal will be ready soon so I'm off to the city whenever they call and it'll be Nando's for lunch. No more chicken tandoori.

PS Oryx and Crake may not be finishable. Nothing like The Handmaid's Tale.

This Won't Be Pleasant

2010-02-25T18:48:00.003+11:00

Okay, I lost my actually really good job today. The overlords whom I've lost some fondness for sent me to this factory that specialises in gardening supplies and I actually liked it there. People were nice, work wasn't so hard and the pay was good. To me, it was a really good job and they ditched me because I was too fucking slow for them. FUCK!

I hate working for casual agencies, I hate getting pushed around and I hate not getting anything when I give so much to the people around me. You know that shitty end of the stick... I'm the sorry bastard who always gets it! This wasn't meant to be a good or memorable posting. It was meant to tell people that I'm pissed off, unhappy and bitchy and none of it needs anyone's criticism, okay!

That's it!

About The Mermaid And The Manuscript

2010-02-18T14:53:00.006+11:00

I didn't submit to Pan MacMillan. A little yet convincing voice in my head told me that I shouldn't and that maybe one of those appraisals the Writer's Centre does is the answer to my problems. So, that's what I did. I went into Melbourne on Monday with a copy and too much money, got lost on Elizabeth St before learning that the centre was right next to the library (the website needs to mention location markers), and I did the big handover thang.

Other than that I was surprised to learn that the centre was a lot smaller than I expected, and that my buddy Janet was there. She was doing a proof reading as part of her internship and we had a bit of a chat. She told me she was organising spoken word arvos in Nunawading and I invited myself to her booklaunch. All in good spirits.

Anyway, I gave them the copy and I went for a walk down to the Yarra because I had two other endeavours to take part in on my Odyssey. For a while I've been meaning to try out some saffron rice at this Indian place in Southbank, and I finally did along with two different types of chicken- butter and Tandoori. I have to say that I like the rice, but if I had a choice I'd only have the butter chicken from now on. Tandoori is hot and a little dry for my liking.

That said, my second endeavour involved a book... and wait for it, this was a picture book you would have figured out was The Little Mermaid. I found this copy a few months ago and I was taken back by the traditional illustrations which lit up the pages. There was another copy there but it wasn't as impressive. The copy I have was naturally written by the crazy Dutchman Hans Christian Andersen, translated by Naomi Lewis (love both of those names) and illustrated by Christian Birmingham. Sorry, no catchy remark.

Anyway, I'm very confident that I'm going to treasure my copy forever, and it was such a welcome relief from that Disney version (they get everything wrong). Besides, I needed the book because there's a character in my series whom I want to base around the little mermaid a bit, and I can really do that because I've done my homework. Also I liked the sea witch a lot more and I hated the stupid prince cos he can't bloody settle for the mute girl who feels pain for him. DOUCHE!

PS I'm taking a lot more time with Oryx and Crake than I expected. It's nothing like The Handmaid's Tale.

As I Sit Here

2010-02-10T19:47:00.005+11:00

As I sit here waiting impatiently for the final season of Lost to begin (I'm eager to find out what's happening with Claire and Cindy), I'm also a little confident if not a little ambitious about my next attempt at getting a publishing deal. I was knocked back by the Australian Literary Management today, and I was bummed. However, the letter said they weren't interested simply because they weren't excited about my novel, so that's good I guess.

So I'm looking ahead, and I'm going to try out Pan Macmillan in Sydney. I checked their website and they don't ask for agents or any of that crap, so I'm gonna do it. They do all of Matthew Reilly's books, so mine's bound to come off as intelligent compared to his, eh. I'm affraid that's all I've got to say, other than I hate my effing job and it's way to hot in these parts.

Have a good life...

My Faith Returned People!

2010-01-22T11:49:00.004+11:00

As of this very moment, today has been a good day. A very good day, and I wanted to bring up the highlights as fast as I humanly can.

1. I figured out how to use my bloody iPod. I still can't stand all of this new damn technology, but at least I get to listen to my toonskies without going out to buy new batteries.

2. I got my job in the store at the timber yard back. Sure, I'm gonna have to put up with intrusive idiots who can't keep their ugly faces out of my business and DAMN oak, but I can do the work and I'll be losing the poundage at the same time. Sweetish.

3. TransitLounge got back to me with my third official rejection, but it was a nice rejection. They told me that they were focusing on travel books (like Lonely Planet I guess), but they also said my sample chapters were a good read. The fingers are crossed from now on!

That's all for now, that I'm happy and waiting for the next big thing to happen for me.

My First Time With Olympus, But Sadly No Persephone

2010-01-21T16:30:00.005+11:00

Well, today meine good self and the mother went to the zoo, and we had a lovely time which could have been awesome had I remembered- wait, been told to put the better memory card in my new Olympus digital camera which I recieved for my birthday. It was a gift from Mum's side of the family, but I'm pretty sure it was just my aunt and uncle who did the purchasing. Anyway, thank you Dale and Max, but for security reasons I'll call you Daotkav (Dear Auntie Of The Kick Arse Variety) and good Auntie Maxie. LOLNESS.

Moving on, we arrived at the zoo and I wanted to start taking pictures, but after getting about two of them, I realised the grave mistake I'd made. I was pissed of course, and really really pissed because I wanted to get many, many pics of the animals. It was also a good day with many Kodak moments, so my eyes are filled with red flames at this point of time.

I eventually calmed myself down and accepted that today wouldn't have its memories in photo form, but luckily I got this one. This gorilla was sitting under its tree and looking at everyone, as do many of the earths creatures. I got myself a shot, and it was after that that I realised that it was missing one of its hands. I felt a bit sorry for him/her, getting a little Sigourney Weaver in Gorillas In The Mist at the same time. But I'm happy I got this shot because it was good and I learnt by using the zoom-in option, I'm able to get many more from this day forward. Just half an hour ago I got one of my dog Mack. Yay.

Also, I wanted to bring up that I've started penning a draft of a short story I think will be good. Not great (which would be nice), but good. It's a story of two lovers, Cheyne and Everlee, uniting after being seperated, and I'm writing it in many different scenarios or ways (whatever way you like). So far I've had them in the real world, WWII era England, and I'm working on them orbiting a blue world named Andala, amongst others.

Guess a lot of it's been inspired by the film The Fountain which I liked but nobody else did. Hoping it works out. Today at the Japanese Garden I saw all of these turtles and Koi Carps swimming up to the surface, and I decided to add them in. Should add to the imagery. A lot of fun to be had. Cheers y'all!

The 21 Effect

2010-01-19T18:46:00.004+11:00

As my title suggests, I'm now 21 years of age, and it's a freaking wonderful experiences. YEAH! But I must confess not all of it has been primrose and daffodils. My 21st was last Saturday and everything went all right. I enjoyed myself because it was the type of party I enjoyed- completely informal, and that we got more family invitees than we did at my 18th. But a major thing that I hated about the night was how so many of my friends decided to give me the flick. Some of them had the courtesy to call up and let me down, but a lot of them decided not too. Brilliant I thought. JUST BRILLIANT!

What else is there to discuss. I got the first three seasons of 30 Rock, this hilarious comedy Tina Fey created so I'm gonna be busy for a while, and I thank the family for doing this for me. However, they got me a tone of other stuff too. Stuff I neither asked for nor really need, and that annoyed me a bit. Like how they got me the DVDs, they were set for a year. I didn't need anything else. I was just happy at that. I don't even know what'd happen if I tell them all of this.

But then there are some brighter topics to discuss, like how I watched District 9. You know, the South African sci-fi. It was brilliant and different and stepped so far out of the box. I loved it! I ordered in my copy of Oryx and Crake today, so all I have to do is pick it up and be wowed by another dystopian novel. I just wanna know what happens. And then there is the bit where the Australian Literary Agency in Sydney has agreed to look at my novel. I'm very excited, but scared. I'm really hoping that they'll take me on, because like I've said so many times before... I REALLY NEED THIS!

That's all y'all!

The Handmaid's Tale

2010-01-07T18:28:00.003+11:00

Today I finished reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and I was really happy with it. I love the dystopian genre and how you can do just about anything with it these days, and this book is deffinately up in my top five or so. Before I offer my own personal thoughts, I'd like to thank some certain individuals for bringing my attention to this work of speculative fiction.

My good brother Babette who gave me my copy for Christmas, I pestured you sufficietly and it paid off. To my old literature teacher whom I've been calling Grace, thanks for bringing it up in class. Sadly I didn't read it at the time (all the books were optional) but if I had I would've brought so much to the class discussion. And finally to my good friend Yushka whom is a huge Atwood fan, thanks for making me aware of this genius of a woman! You've all been great.

Now, what I enjoyed most about this book was how it displayed the perspective of a female narrator and how women percieved the dystopic environment. Offred (whom is also June and Kate in the film) was just honest, fierce and tough through-out the whole 300 odd pages. I really felt her feelings when the Aunts (crusty old bitches who should die) were "reprograming" her and how she reacted to losing her husband Luke and her daughter. So much honesty, but I wanted to see more in her relationship to Nick, the underground man who saved her.

Other parts I enjoyed, but the one I loved the most was when Offred's friend Moira escaped the cruelty of the Aunts. I thought it was one of the strongest elements of the story, how she escaped and stuck it to oppression. I was a little bummed when she wound up in the brothel Jezebel's, but she seemed happy so I'm happy. The book was brilliant and I liked the final chapter where future academics are studying The Handmaid's Tale in the year 2195.

As much as it was nice learning that the oppression of the Republic of Gilead (the world America became in the book) came to an end and Offred finally got out to England, I just enjoyed the names of the professors. Atwood has a nack for creating interesting and likeable names from the smallest words in the English language, so I loved hearing about Maryanna Crescent Moon and James Darcy Pieixoto. It added a great touch to the ending.

I'm deffinately an Atwood nut, much like my good Yushka. She's got some other dystopian books out, including Oryx and Crake, and I'm gonna get a copy as soon as I can. I think I displays the male view of the future mixed with genetic engineering with animal and human DNA.

Looking forward to it!

Everyone Keeps Pissing On My Waterboy!

2010-01-02T17:23:00.003+11:00

There are way to many characters out there who can control the seas, and I am not happy with it amigos. First I had to put up with Tracy Strauss from Heroes, and now theres Percy Jackson from these yankee kids books that got adapted to the screen. I am not pleased, because I wanted to break with traditions of firestarters and throw in a powerful aquakinetic. Angry face.

Also, I wanted to bring up the issue of 3D in cinemas. I saw Avatar today for the third time (yes, that's right) and it was in the ever popular 3D form, which I have to say gave me a tremendous headache. There wasn't that much of a difference either. 2D is deffinately for me from now on, and sadly I've forgotten what else I wanted to write about. So that is all I guess.

Wait, I just remembered, I've decided to lay off Avatar until the DVD is out. James Cameron's Titanic was a massive thing for my sister Cactus Pete (who saw it four times) and Avatar is doing the same for me, but I won't be like my beloved sis. I'll either see it two more times of not at all, for I'm going to be the better human, and I won't make futile attempts at stalking the male lead either. Maybe the ladies if I've got time, but Worthington will not have to deal with me hiding in the bushes outside his window.

PS. Oh, I just wanted to make a shout out to sfauthor who commented on my last posting. You're the first person I don't know whose commented, so thank you.

What Avatar Did For Me

2009-12-26T15:57:00.004+11:00

Happy Boxing Day to all, hope you've all been well. Been a while since my last post, bout a month maybe, but I've got something good to talk about. Eh, you wanna hear. Actually I've got a few things to bring up, like how Little Miss Shifty and Little Miss Honeybear ran up to me willingly yesterday, which was Christmas Day. However, I knida think they made the mad dash because I was carrying the bag with the presents in it.

What else is there, I'm finally reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, which I'm enjoying a lot. Thank you Babette, my good brother, and I read Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris, which is the book that inspired the series True Blood (Sookie Stackhouse kicks Bella Swans arse any day of the week). Also, like the rest of the movie loving world, I saw Avatar last Tuesday and IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I've been wanting to see it since I saw the trailers on YouTube, and it was brilliant. At first I thought it was all going to be special effects and little story, but I was relieved when it got all intriguing. I enjoyed the actors too, like Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Michelle Rodriguez (she makes anything work) and Sigourney Weaver. The imagery was spot on and the alien wildlife was interesting and something to look at, no questions asked. To me, the movie was ALIVE!

Now, the one special thing I wanted to bring up in this posting was how the search for the movie helped me out heaps! I get a lot of my info off the Wikipedia, so I looked up the movie on said abomination and I came across the Avatars of Hinduism (in India lesser thinkers) and I came across this religious quote.

Whenever righteousness wanes and unrighteousness increases I send myself forth.
In order to protect the good and punish the wicked,
In order to make a firm foundation for righteousness,
I come into being age after age. (4. 7-8)

Bhagavad Gita (c. 3138 BC)

I'm not a religious person (however I'm willing to accept some things) but I am all about this quote now. If you haven't heard, I am writing a dystopian fantasy series and I want it to be so big that it's quote worthy, like Philip Pullman's His Dark Material series. I've been looking everywhere for the right quote (which I want in the final book) and I nearly decided to use song lyrics by Pat Bennitar (think that's how you spell her name). Anyway, I found this one and I shouted hooray!

That's it for now, and I'm going to post something about THT by Atwood. Cheers for now, and have a good new year.

Its Been A While, I Know

2009-11-11T08:51:00.003+11:00

Okay, I've been pretty distracted for the last couple of months, what with watching girls flash me at the Deni Ute Muster to just can't being stuffed to write anything down. But I do have things to share with whatever following I may have.

1. I saw the last Heath Ledger movie ever made, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasus, and I'm a little freaked out. I got the plot and liked the characters (Tony not so much), but I felt it was just too mad. Also I didn't like the special effects, except for the monastery made up of elephant carvings. I think Terry Gilliam's old movies were better, like Twelve Monkeys. Think he shouldn't rely on the effects so much and stick to a smaller budget.

2. I read the last part of Matthew Reilly's trilogy, and I hated it. The Five Greatest Warriors was to me the greatest waste of time ever. There was no depth, characters were flat and cliched and the dialogue was shit. The 11 year old kids talk like adults too much and whenever someone gets out of being captured they wind up getting caught by someone else. I think the biggest let down was introducing the new villain Vladimir Karnov, one of those stereotypical Russian villains with half his face made out of metal. He just came out of no where and took control- totally ****ed up!

Then you've got everyone turning out to be a traitor of some sort- Diane Cassidy, Cieran Kincaid etc, and Reilly makes the protagonist feel like they've been betrayed by the closest friend. BULLSHIT! Huntsman just met these people! WHY DOES HE FEEL LIKE HE'S GOT A STICK UP HIS ARSE YANKED OUT! Another thing about these villains is that they've too full of themselves and like to talk to much.

Finally, why is it that some writers keep putting the most boring people in charge of saving us all. Jack West Jr was flat, annoying and somewhat narcacistic. I keep saying this whenever I learn about a hero who just shouldn't be (John Connor, Jack Shappard, Peter Petrelli ect) "Let the world burn. We've had a good run." If people wind up saying stuff like that, the writer has failed! That is all.

3. I've recently sent my manuscript off to another publisher, this time it is TransitLounge. I think I might have a chance, since they asked for more than a 3 chapter sample. I'm hoping the wickedness of the Alchemist will urge the good people over there to want more. Also on the topic of the chronicles, I've been working away on some character development. To date I've been tweaking Andrew Natalis, Penn Lewis, Tracy Woods, Samuel 'The Hurricane' Guevarra, Marcus Sawyer, Kristen Yeow, Carey Luttrell and my all time favourite, Wes McCarthy.

I'm also planning something big and hopefully horrific for the fifth part of the series which I'm praying will make me one of those writers who'll go anywhere in his/her work. That's it for now, and I hope to be adding more the blog soon, and that people will read it.

The Magician's Nephew

2009-08-10T16:31:00.002+10:00

As my title suggests, this posting is about the novel The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis whom many would know was the writer of the Chronicles of Narnia. So, I'm writing to say that I've just finished reading the book and was very happy with it. I liked learning how everything fell into place such as Aslan, Jadis and the Wardrobe, as well as the many religious references. I like when writers use those.

Moving on, I guess my real reason for reading it was so I could learn a bit about Uncle Andrew, who is possibly the most despised character in the entire book. He was self obsessed and selfish and didn't care for anyone else really, but I feel somewhat inclined to disagree with some of those elements, mainly because without Uncle Andrew, the whole adventure of the chronicles could never be told. He was the one who granted access to Narnia.

Uncle Andrew had good intentions I've decided, but he tried to achieve them through selfish means, such as sending Polly Plummer to the Wood between the Worlds and not going himself. He wanted something good but got it the wrong way, and that's why I read the book because I was in a way doing research on a character for my own series, Andrew Natalis.

Andrew Natalis in a way was the one character who set everything into motion in my series The Hands of Sage Chronicles. There are some differences though. He did a generously good thing which had terrible consequences. Some characters refer to Natalis as "the most selfless son of a bitch in the world". That line's going to be used in the second part of the series.

So that was why I read The Magician's Nephew, aside from the fact that I enjoy classic stories, to learn how to create my own Uncle Andrew. As you can tell, they share the same first name which is an obvious shout out, but his surname "Natalis" is the Latin word for "birthday". It inspired the name Natalie and its variations also.

Aside from the Chronicles, I'm also drawing elements from other works of fiction, many of which I picked up on in my Literature class last year with my teacher Grace (I'm pretty sure I'm calling her that on the blog). The other stories I'm drawing on include the following-

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen
The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
Cicade de Deus by Paulo Lins
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

I'm also drawing on elements of Little Red Riding Hood and Beauty and the Beast. As for me I'm going to go and start on the rest of the Narnia stories as well as get my hands on Alice in Wonderland, mainly because the movie is coming out next year and Lewis Carroll was a left hander like myself.

Cheers.

It Is Done

2009-08-02T19:58:00.004+10:00

I've been up to a lot lately, and I must admit I'm feeling rather buggered. The past week has been very eventful, such as me lugging myself around the city doing my sisters bidding on Tuesday (I finally went into Sticky- not bad), doing the drive up to Bendigo today with my bickering parents in the front and my grandpa in the back who was just laughing on the inside... and let's see, what else did I do? I sent my manuscript off to a publisher.

I was really excited about that, and hopeful that the recipients take interest in my story. My proof readers enjoyed it and helped me improve my tale by turning it from a 309 pg manuscript into a 308 one. Sweet. Anyway, that's the biggest thing on my mind at the moment, but there are other things too.

Let me see, there's my temp agency calling me up with some work because I am just poor. Seriously, I'm not enjoying it friends. I'm also waiting to see the new Roland Emmerich movie 2012 (I'm not expecting anything dramatic, but the trailers looked good- I'm going to be scared shitless in three years also) and there's The Time Traveler's Wife as well. Fingers are crossed that they're good also.

Also, I'm trying to get a short story down which my main idea will be about friendship. This "thing" came to me when I came up with the names Danny McCabe and Amy DeLeigh, and I decided that they would be life long best friends who would comfort each other when times were grim. All of these images come into my head like seeing them dance ballroom style in lounge room and a burning stable with horses running out of it. I just want to write it dammit!!!!

And then there's this little novel I've started on the side which will be heavily laddened with fantasy. It's meant for younger readers (older primary school) and I've got some good lines and images down on paper. I started writing it all down after I saw my little cousins, Little Miss Shifty and Little Miss Honeybear, a few weeks ago, and they tell me that monsters aren't real. Anyway, it dawned on me that the stuff I write isn't appropriate for them and so I'm going to do something about that Seamus. Fingers are crossed.

And that's that. I'm gonna try and post some drawings soon. Promise.

PS. I'm also getting published again. Go Wonderland!

The Reward

2009-07-01T14:28:00.005+10:00

As I sit here waiting for my turn to use the kitchen (I'm going to make fancy pancakes), I felt that I should display my thoughts on the book Atonement which I finished last Saturday night, and I'd just like to say that it was a very enjoyable experience.

In my own words I want to say that it felt like I was reading art. Strange one might think, and it may be impossible to read art... but who cares. Last year I saw the movie on DVD and enjoyed it very much, but the book was so much better. The plot hit all the right spots, the characters were intriguing and I felt as if I could see it happening at the same time, so two thumbs up. Dialogue, which was mostly scarce for several pages at a time was a kind treat as well.

However, I did have a few minor problems with it. One, the second and third parts of the book were primarily focused on Robbie Turner and Briony Tallis, who are two of the three main characters. The third, Cecilia, is featured heavily in both parts... but why isn't there a part devoted to her? I found that a little odd at times.

Something else that caught my eye was that several chapters in part one were focused on Briony and Cecilia's mother, Emily with the migraines. It became obvious in parts 2 and 3 that Emily held a great resentment towards Robbie and was somewhat of a domineering bitch, but I don't think those additional chapters about her were really needed.

Also, the character of Paul Marshall (who is easily one of the three most hated in the book- along with Emily and Lola Quincey) doesn't seem to get anything thrown at him by the books heroes. The moment he rapes Lola (who becomes his wife) and concurs with everyone's suspicions that Robbie did the naughty, he goes on and lives the life of luxury.

What I'm wondering is that why didn't Cecilia or someone else confront him or condemn him? I'm reminded of the character Joe Pritchard from Shameless who is somewhat similar. He goes about beating his girlfriend Mandy Maguire and abusing her sister-in-law Karen, and finally gets beaten unconscious by Karen's husband Jamie. Not only that, when he comes to, Mandy's family all threaten to kill him. That's what I wanted to see happen to Paul. It felt right, damn it!

So that's all I've got to say. Atonement will be one of my most favourite books from now on, and it helped my put my horrid memories of reading Twilight to rest. Also, I want to thank little Sophie and Alice for giving me the piece on Saturday night to finish the book. Good girls. Now I plan to read Tim Winton's latest book Breath. Here goes.

I'm Not Getting Those Precious Reading Hours Back

2009-06-20T20:15:00.004+10:00

So I did it, I read that horrid abomination that is Twilight, and if any of you good readers have read my other postings you'll realise that I don't really care for it at all, and upon reading the excess of shite arse, my view hasn't changed. IT WAS COMPLETE SHITE PEOPLE!

Every single page was all about Bella thinking that Edward is nothing more than a god and crap, like he's the real deal. In my opinion he was nothing more than a stony-faced, sexist narcasist who thinks women can't do anything. And he collects classic cars and wears bague! I'm thinking how many girls is he pimping to afford all of this shit!

What makes me more curious is to why billions of girls around the world love this prick! Chappi-Clementina agrees with me, and she tells that teenage girls are a strange breed. NUFF SAID.

Another problem is how the villains were portrayed in it. James, Laurent and Victoria were so unjustedly under-used. Like 50 pages were given to them, and its all about James getting the chop. I actually didn't mind them. Sure, they weren't big bads like Voldemort, but they were a whole lot better than Ed and Bella.

Also, a small subplot about Alice (another vampire with visions) was included, but nothing big either. My opinion is that if the book had been about Alice and James, I think it would've been a whole lot better. STUPENDOUS! Putting it like Ian McEwan whose book Atonement I'm enjoying very much- my reward for putting up with the pre-mentioned knife in my neck.

When going through those painful 400+ pages, I kept thinking to myself "Yep, she didn't even workshop this" and "What publisher would bestow this on the writing community". My theory is that Meyer never got a teenager to critique it. Stupid woman.

However, I will end this posting with a positive remark, and that is I COULD ACTUALLY STAND BELLA SWAN. I don't love her. I won't cry if she dies (unlikely). But I can stand her. That is all ladies and gents!

Oh It's The Dollhouse

2009-06-10T10:13:00.008+10:00

As of late I've been sick of my arse, and so far it hasn't been enjoyable. Last Monday night I couldn't sleep at all, but fortunately Tuesday was a good night. Sure, my cold did lilghten up an insignificant little and the following morning I had a vicious nosebleed, but there was one thing that saved it for me. I am of course talking about... Dollhouse.

If one wonders what the hell I'm talking about, Dollhouse is the new series from the creative mind of my idol Joss Whedon which stars Eliza Dushku and Olivia Williams. I was very impressed with what I saw and as per usual I enjoyed Whedon's dialogue and his use of names- and because of that I named a character in my series after him.

Moving on, I just wanted to bring up my relief that good television has returned to the screen. Sure, I have Lost which ends next year and Battlestar Galactica which ended this year with that bang the creators promised us, but what am I gonna drown my mind with when that's all gone, hmm. So I just wanted to proclaim how grateful I am that Dushku brought Whedon back to the giggle box.

Hoorah... and I also wanted to mention the fact that Whedon is going to milk his characters, which is a good thing. I took a peak at the end of season 1 and learnt that no one big had been killed off. GREATNESS!

Mum's The Reason As It Turns Out

2009-05-10T10:29:00.003+10:00

Greetinkos rare reader... I have a shocking revelation to share with you all. For me to explain this new story will require a set-up, which involves the new Star Trek movie. So, here it goes.

For a while I was a bit sceptical about the new ST movie, mainly because I was never a real big Trekkie and I like my sci-fi simplified... but the moment I heard that JJ Abrams for directing, I knew it would be good because anything he touches turns to gold... most of the time. So I was persuaded to go see it, and tagging along with me was someone whom wasn't a friend or sibling. Mum.

I asked her to go with me, and in return I have to go see Angels and Demons with her next week, which I'm not against. My reason for this is because Svnof has already been- she gave me the recommendation also, and Chappi-Clementina was against it to begin with. Sometimes I think that girl is hiding her secret sanity. Nontheless, I went to see it with Ma, and we enjoyed it very much.

The movie looked great and they did some really good casting. I liked many of the leads, especially Chris Pine and Simon Pegg who got all the good lines. I'm now convinced that James T. Kirk (Pine) is the descendent of my friend the manwhore, since the two are very much alike, especially when he was nailing a green Rachel Nichol (I think I know who I'd like to see play my protagonist Wes in an adaptation).

Other cast members I enjoyed include Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana and Zachary Quinto whom is a whole lot better in this than Heroes. Seriously, Spock saved that mans career. Another cast member I liked was Winona Ryder, whom I never really expected to see in this type of film. Sure, I saw and liked her in Alien Resurrection, but she just surprised me, and she did a good job as Amanda Grayson.

With that all said, I need to move onto the more shocking part of the film, and it wasn't in it. It was sitting next to me in the cinema... Mum. Whilst the movie was running, I kept seeing Mum laugh and smile (since it was so good), but then she starts reciting the characters names once they've been said, and I wonder... is Mum a Trekkie.

I asked her quietly about if she was liking it, and she kept saying it's Sulu and Kirk and everyone... and the moment Leonard Nimoy turned up her mouth dropped. The thoughts in my head were "Oh my god, Mum's the reason I like sci-fi", but she told me after the movie ended that she watched a few episodes when she was young, whilst I'm known for following a good sci-fi from start to finish.

Anyway, she surprised me and the movie must've stuck with her because when I brought it up at Balsamic last night (we went out for dinner) she kept saying good things about the cast and everything. Really, I was shocked.

FINISHED!

2009-05-08T14:33:00.002+10:00

A glorious thing came to occur last night as I watched Grey's Anatomy, I finished my manuscript. Yes, it's happened... again, but it's happened nontheless. I decided as I lay on my bed that I'd finish it there and then and take it over to my friend Margit's the next day because she was critiquing it.

So, there I went, writing away as Izzie went crazy and Derek continued to exist... and Lexie broke the manwhore's little friend on the fornication break. I was on the last chapter, which I must admit was possibly the most saddest part in the story. I wanted to build the tension and sympathy for the characters, and I think that was achieved when I wrote along to Eric Stoltz's execution.

After handwriting the final page, I ran out to the computer... to which Mum had turned off. So I waited for it to start up, I plug my memory stick in and went away, typing. Telling the story and bringing this part of it to an end. 306 pages I got, which is like a hundred pages better than the last draft which I try not to think about as a positive.

It was incredible, and I'm going to say that Shonda Rhimes- Grey's creater, had a lot to do with it, so thanks brilliant Yankee woman whom I've never met. Now all that has to happen is for Margit to finish reading it and then I'm sending it off to Svnof and Chappi-Clementina.

IT'S ALL HAPPENING!

My Space Opera

2009-05-06T18:56:00.003+10:00

I was in the new Collins bookshop on Main St the other day- PS It looks very nice and blue. Anyway, I'm looking at the sci-fi section and I discover this book by this Scottish writer. I can't for the life of me remember the title or writer's name (me quoting my queen Stevie Nicks) but I do remember the book review on the back, which names it one of the best "space operas" ever created.

The term space opera stuck with me all the way home, and that was when I looked the term up on the Wikipedia. Apparently a space opera is defined by all of the dramatic and romantic elements in it... all of which are incorporated into an outer space setting. I immediately thought of my beloved Battlestar Galactica and its soon to begin spin off Caprica, which I'm hoping the Sci-Fi Channel will air down here straight away.

Anyway, I thought to myself... could the Lightstream Sheep write a space opera of his own. My thoughts following those were yes, I could. In fact I've already got "something" in the works about a race of humans looking for a home on the other side of the galaxy, and all the crap they've got to endure.

Of course there's got to be something speculative in it, apart from space travel. That's already been established and I don't want people to yawn, so there's got to be some element of power to use, and yes, I've already thought of that. Something that I don't think has been really used so much, except by Joss Whedon (greatest man ever) and Russell T. Davies and the crew of Doctor Who.

That's all for now...

What I Did Today

2009-05-06T16:02:00.003+10:00

At the current moment of moments, I'm covered in sweat. That's right, sweat. Why you ask... well that's easy to answer. It's all because of Wii, the Wii fitness board thing to be exact. The mother got it a few weeks ago, and it is really helping us with the weight issues, but when I weigh myself it keeps saying that I'm putting on instead of losing. Bastard. But it's all in good fun.

I was working on my novel yesterday and a wonderful thing happened. I'm currently at the 290 mark, which means that my dream of writing a 300+ page manuscript will be coming true soon. Just one chapter to go... and I'm hoping that readers will come to see it as the saddest chapter in the whole thing.

Another wish that I want to come true is whether people will want to live in the universe I've created. What madness do you mean by that you might ask, well, allow me to explain. A while ago I was reading this review about Twilight (PS. I saw the movie and I enjoyed it, except for the parts with Edward and Bella- dull, but at least Robert Pattinson knows how to brush his hair).

Moving on, the review says that despite the many flaws in the series, the whole universe that it's set in sucks you in- ie, makes you want to live there and take up real estate. Well I thought that this review might have some good in it, so I picked up a copy at Borders, read the first few pages... and the guy was right. The story, Bella and Ed may be crap but the book (yes, I know it was a few pages) had that real estate affect. The review compared it with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and I'm in agreement.

That's what I want to achieve with my series, which I'm still sure I'll call "Open Hands", I want the reader to want to be in it. Live there. Have powers and be apart of the adventure. Hopefully my dear narrator The Teacher will take care of that for me, and if I'm lucky I'll have the draft finished by the end of the week. WHOO!

As for everything else that's happened... I decided that that job in Hawthorne was not for me. Seriously, I don't know why I even submitted and marketing sounds just so boring, and the guy there wanted me to come back for a half day (12:45 to 8:30) info session... in a suit. The Lightstream Sheep wears not those things called neckties- abominations more like it! Hmpf.

In addition I also went swimming, ate Doritos and called up my dear friend Degwyn to wish him a happy 21st. He was most impressed that I remembered the date (I wasn't so sure to be honest) but I informed him that I narrowed the date down using my greatest of foes- mathematics... oh, and my buddy Little One's bday. She celebrates hers a few days before Degwyn.

He was good also, and I recently learnt that he thinks that Brangelina is having sex in this new jacket he brought the other day. FREAKY.

Today With Sophie And Alice

2009-04-30T13:00:00.003+10:00

Well, today I was called in by way of a favour to babysit my friend Margit's two little dears, Sophie and Alice. If anyone is curious about my two temporary wards, they're dogs. Sausage dogs. Anyway, I come and everything is dandy... except for the part where one of them made a mess in front of the door, but that crisis was averted.

What else is there to say... oh, my interview with the pancake parlour wasn't so fruitful unfortunately. I got an e-mail from a Caroline saying I wasn't a keeper, but I recieved another call from a place I applied to in Hawthorne.

I have absolutely no idea what this company does, apart from the fact that they work with music. Anyway, they called and invited me to an interview on Monday, saying that they'd explain about the position further and that I'm one of 25 selectees from near 200 applicants. Noice.

So that's all, but I've been trying to get a chapter written and I saw the Wolverine movie yesterday. Not bad. That's all for now.

Almost At 250

2009-04-15T13:29:00.003+10:00

I've been pretty busy as of late, mainly with writing my manuscript. My dreams are coming true... I've almost got 250 pages typed, meaning that I can now focus on the fabled 300. Apart from that I've been looking around for work, using Seek.com mostly. I've learnt that you don't need any experience whatshowever to be a film and TV extra, so I sent my resumes off to those places, as well as a few restaurants needing a waiter.

Apart from all that, I've just finished reading this book called Let The Right One In, written by a Swede named John Ajvide Lindqvist. It's a dark fantasy horror about a bullied boy who befriends a vampire girl. The book incorporates all of the real-world horrors one hears about, such as abuse (child, drug and sexual) and loneliness, as well as the presence of several confused and blood thirsty vampires.

I thought this was one of the best books I've ever read, not only because it's a dark fantasy (which I'm pretty fond of) but because it mixes genres together, like the real world for instance. I'm drawn to fiction that does that, like my beloved Battlestar.

They achieved that with a very saddening and dramatic miscarriage for one of Tricia Helfer's characters, Caprica-Six, amongst other things. Come to think of it a lot of bad things happened to poor Trish ie- Gina getting raped by the Pegasus crew, Natalie getting shot to death by Athena. Damn that woman can take a lot of pain.

That's all for now. I'll be writing a bit more now, and harbouring a little bit of hate for my friend Janet who's touring Paris, Mallorca and London at the moment. Lucky girl.

The Thing About Lila

2009-03-16T16:02:00.004+11:00

Oh, something that I forgot to mention in the previous blog. I've been watching Dexter on Channel Ten (PS, replacing it with a repeat of NCIS last Monday is just gay. IDIOTS) and I've taken a liking to the new character Lila. She's bitchy and essentric, and I just love her. So would Crazy Chik I think. I must tell her.

Stevie's Playing As I Write This

2009-03-16T15:48:00.003+11:00

I've had a good couple of days recently. My sister Cactus Pete finally got me the Stevie Nicks greatest hits CD, so the house has been filled with the sounds of heaven. Don't anyone judge me! Not only that, my draft of Escape of the Alchemist is coming along really well. I'm currently up to about 147 pages, which I'm really proud of. The really first, terrible draft was only 130, so you can understand my happiness.

One part of the draft that I'm really big on so far is the bounty hunters encounter with the Joshua family. The hunters and the Joshua's are really good friends, so there was a lot of good times I'm thinking. You've got the tough wise-arsed father Merrick, his pregnant wife Charmaine and their two girls, Renee and Vaughn. I was wondering how I was going to get this part down, so I just based some of them on my good cousins... so to the cousins, I say thanks.

Another bit of writing that I'm happy about is the short story I'm going to submit to Avant this year. It's the second draft of a story I wrote in January I think, and its **** loads better. Cactus Pete tells me so also. Anyway, I'm very happy with my writing at the moment. Putting together that chapter by chapter summary of EOTA is really paying off. I'm hoping to reach the 250 page mark or higher.

That is all... oh, and fingers crossed that Katee Sackhoff gets the Doctor Who gig in season 5.

Well then...

2009-03-02T18:06:00.004+11:00

Today was rather good, and the days preceeding it. I went swimming, wrote a bit of a chapter, and tonight I get to watch Underbelly and Dexter. Not to mention that my theories about Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica are beginning to come true, but I was shocked when Boomer kidnapped Hera. That bitch! I foresee a vengeful Starbuck, Sharon and Caprica going after her and Cavil. Here's hoping.

Anyway, what else have I got on my mind. I'm really enjoying re-writing Escape of the Alchemist. Those two years learning the craft of writing a novel are really paying off, and I'm happy to put those shocking memories of writing the first draft to rest. I am liking the elements of normalcy that I'm adding, especially with Wes, Hawk and Laura at the Cottonmouth. The character of "The Teacher" is really paying off too.

Other writing endeavors include the piece I want to submit to Avant this year. I had a first draft written, but I don't really like it anymore, so naturally I'm going to resort to incorporating a storyline from a classic childrens tale... just try and guess which one. Here's a hint, it was incorporated into the first of the Matrix Trilogy and the series Lost.

I think a second draft would pay off because the last two stories that I got published were more focused around male characters, and I think writing from a female perspective would pay off greatly. Another reason for this change would have to do with actress Asher Keddie. I like seeing her on Underbelly: A Tale of Two Cities. She's good as Liz Cruickshank, and I want to see who she's playing in the new Wolverine movie. Better not be a background character!

One shocking thing that I'd like to point out is that I'm actually considering reading the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I know, I must be crazy. It's insane. But I want to see how she tackles the first person narrative, and see if her villains are any good. You know what they say, if the protagonists are crap, the baddies must be good, and I say this with confidence because I'm told that Bella Swan is a dumbarse.

So, that's all I've got to say at the moment. Oh, but I'd like to tell my good friend Janet that I was shocked to learn that you think Lost is awful. It's good watching, and I'm sure your offspring will agree. If you want to bag something American, have a go at Heroes. The writing is terrible! TERRIBLE!

And The Nominees Are...

2009-02-26T15:25:00.003+11:00

Ok, like any normal person, I watched the Oscars on Monday, and I just have to say that they were good. Congrates to Heath Ledger, Kate Winslet and Penelope Cruz for winning, but not to Sean Penn because I was gunning for Mickey Rourke. No matter, he'll get one. Moving on, I just want to stop and talk about the humour that was brought to the event, and I thought to myself 'I can do that.' So, this is the joke I've written for this years Academy Awards.

Two famous comedians walk onto the stage. The audience watches them in wonder. Comedians walk upto the microphone.

C1: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and let me say that it's an honour for us to be presenting tonight.

C2: It certainly is, but the greatest honour is the chance to be making a joke at the Oscars, which we think is the soul reason why anyone comes to these things, apart from seeing Whoopi in person.

Hold for laughter.

C2: Anyway, when we were asked to present, we thought, what is the best joke that we can use?

C1: It was a very big decision.

C2: It was... but then we thought, what's the safest joke that we can use because as a safety precaution, we follow an important list of rules.

C1: For instance, we'll never comment on the pre-deceased... because their family might be watching.

C2: That's right... Ledgers. Besides, we don't go after greatness.

C1: Of course. The Joker was brilliant... and the scariest thing we saw last year apart from saggy porn.

Hold for audience to shiver.

C2: Another rule that we follow is that we never use any racially based jokes.

C1: That's right. We never comment on people because of their heritage or appearance... mainly because we don't want to be jumped in the parking lot by Robert Downey Jr.

Hold for laughter.

C1: Also, we won't mock some people because they might react in a bad way.

C2: We all saw what Angelina Jolie did to that train in Wanted.

C1: I know, she's crazy.

Both comedians realise that Angelina Jolie is sitting in the front row, and take one step back.

C2: But we still love her.

C1: So judging from our list of rules, there's very few people here tonight who we can bag.

C2: But there's no rule about not insulting Disney princesses, is there.

C1: No, there isn't. They're great targets, especially when they end up falling for a gay and wind up in rehab.

C2: Of course we expected nothing less from Anne Hathaway.

Hold for laughter. Anne Hathaway gives them a threatening look, and then uses telepathy to plan their mysterious deaths with Angelina Jolie.

C1: Don't worry, we love you Annie.

C2: So, that's our Oscar joke ladies and gentlemen.

C1: And now, the nominees for best soft-drink placement are...

Open Hands

2009-02-19T16:20:00.005+11:00

Greetings again, hope all is well my many dosen of readers. Haven't been on in a while, so I'm just catching up is all.

Nothing much has happened, except I did a bit of work a few weeks back. Decided that handling wood wasn't the best thing in my opinion, plus the guy I was working with was a tremendous yet inexcusible handful (excuse my language).

Another good thing that happened is that I've started up my series again, and I'm hoping that I'll get it right this time.

I've got big problems with POV (point of view changes) which Monday Esme has often pointed out and expressed a well-known dislike for... so I'm hoping that my narrator "The Teacher" will save it for me.

Hoping I'll get the second draft of "Escape of the Alchemist" finished in a few months, I should be very busy. Any encouragement would be welcomed of course.

PS. Atticus, if you keep responding with pointless crap that just wastes my time, Tessica will see your baby pics. OKAY!

Well, It's Happened

2009-01-19T13:19:00.003+11:00

As of yesterday I am 20 years old, and it ain't bad. I had a good bday. My good brother Babette took me out to the movies to see The Wrestler, which wasn't bad. I liked Mickey Rourke's character. Also, the movie was way better than Darren Aronofsky's last movie, which I still like unlike my Asian bound friend Gin/Velma.

Anyway, I saw the movie, I got plenty of messages over the facebook and I got a DVD player. My good friend Crazy Chik was not pleased, since she does not have a DVD player. Meh I say. But there was a downer, like when my dear friend Young One chose to go swimming instead of coming over for a visit. You little shite! I was good to you, but I still luv ya.

But what am I doing with myself now. I've currently started a new novel which I'm pretty big on. No underworld elements in this one- THANK GOD! I'm also hoping that my employer, whom I shall call Charlotte, can find me some work since I'm getting kinda bored sitting around the house a lot. Maybe I should go to uni. I've also finished a short story that I want to submit to Avant this year.

So that's all that's happened. Here's to being 20... and don't touch my stuff Jesus!

And I've Been Doing What?

2008-12-24T17:46:00.003+11:00

Merry Christmas to y'all. I've been very busy for the last couple of weeks. My time has been taken up with shopping for presents (shopping centres are hell in December by the way), starting another new novel (which I'm sure will go further than the last, hopefully) and hearing the same Katy Perry songs on the radio (she is like everywhere now).

But, I've also finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffeneger (hope I've spelt her name right). I'd already heard about the book years ago, and I became intrigued when I learnt that it actually involved time travel, and my good friend Janet from TAFE said good things about it too.

What I really want to say is that it is one of the best re-imagined sci-fi's I've ever come across. I actually hate the author now because I want to write in the same genre, but I'm affraid that I won't be as good as her. Time will tell though. Anyway, 'tis was a bitchin' read and a special thanks goes out to Janet for getting me into it. DON'T DENY IT DEAR!

I know I'll be seeing the movie when it comes out. I'm a Rachel McAdams fan I am.
Merry Christmas people, and have a happy new year.

Stowaway

2008-12-06T13:38:00.004+11:00

Hello, for anyone who read my previous posting, you should know that I was conflicted about what I should be writing. Now I do know what I want to do, and that is my sci-fi, which I am currently calling Stowaway. This is only a working title, so there might be another emerging in the future.

Anyway, my new novel is about a woman named Monica Edmondson. I've chosen her first name because it means alone, and her surname because it is a tribute to the character Margaret "Racetrack" Edmondson, played by Leah Cairns in Battlestar Galactica. Monica learns that she can unwillingly travel through time and space, which she has no control over.

Monica find herself travelling to the age of slavery in New Orleans, and all the way to the year 2931, where Egypt has emerged as one of the most powerful nations in the world. This doesn't sit well for Monica, because she'd much rather go home to her daughter, Freya. What makes things worse is that Freya ages 23 years, whilst Monica only ages 10.

I'm planning to capture a more realistic side in sci-fi, whilst also mixed with a bit of humour. I'm also writing it in the first person narrative, because I'm done with those damn POV changes that Monday Esme taught me to hate so much. Also, I'm going to do a lot more research for this, and I've already started.

I will be posting more details about the novel as I write it. I'm already passed 8,000 words, so that is a good sign. Another thing is that I've included four pre-existing people into my novel, so George, Amber, Catherine and Justen, you shall be famous.

Cheers

I'm Conflicted

2008-11-28T14:18:00.004+11:00

Hello again, and might I add, the weather sucks a little. Any of the ways, I am conflicted about my writing. I recently got my novel homework back from Monday Esme (I passed by the way) and I'm not really sure what to do with the novel I'm writing now. One of my thoughts is to finish it, because a few people have been gunning to read it and I don't want to disappoint.

One of my reason for this is that I rushed into it blind (aka I was writing about something that I had no personal knowledge or experience about), and I find it remarkable that I got over 300 pages written. It did work for Stephanie Meyer, so I'm not all that surprised now. Anyway, Monday Esme suggested that I treat it like an apprentice piece (I'm pretty sure she meant practice novel) and I'm starting to agree with her.

But, I'm unsure of what to go on with next. Monday Esme suggested that I write from life (which was one of my intentions in life believe it or not), and I have a few ideas, but nothing rock solid. On the other hand, I do have some ideas for speculative fiction which I've been gunning to write for years now.

One would have to be my series, which I'm going to start re-writing one of these days (the first finished draft was terrible). I figured that since JK Rowling, Philip Pullman and several American writers can come up with a series, I guess I could too. Wouldn't mind being apart of that crowd.

Another idea of mine is a science fiction storie mixed with realism. It incorporates time and space travel with a single mother desperate to be with her daughter who ages twenty years whilst she ages about seven or ten. I've been wanting to write something like this, ever since I saw Children of Men and The Fountain, and since it will focus on a time travelling woman, it might be seen as a welcome change in time travelling characters (I know The Doctor from Doctor Who travels with a lot of female companions, but they don't work the TARDIS... with the exception of Donna Noble in her last episode).

I'm looking forward to some feedback, because I'm desperate for some... and some positive feedback in case you're wondering dear sister. None of your regular judgemental s**t.

My Sister's New Keeper

2008-11-24T15:46:00.003+11:00

Greetinkos, and for anyone who doesn't know... I'm a little peeved with my sister, y'all. The reason for this is because she has a boyfriend now, and I'm annoyed because I was the last family member to find out! Dammit!

Now I don't have anything against the boyfriend. I met him on Saturday and he's a nice guy, and I liked him even more after the sister said that he wasn't a Scientologist. Thank Gawd! But I'm still dis-pleased with the sister.

I mean, who went with her to Queensland huh? Who considered writing a Lit for Children essay for her. Who unwillingly agreed to be her punching bag for years on end. It was me, and I'm the last one to find out about her new gentleman associate.

I'm not happy...

The Old Woman For VeeNee

2008-11-14T17:00:00.003+11:00

Greetings to anyone who's reading this. I've been very busy for the past few days, what with my good self finally getting employment at a timber yard. It's been very good indeed. I do what is most likely the easiest job there... salvaging, and the workers there have been nice to me... all though I think I pissed one of them off by unknowingly taking his seat in the rec. room.

Any of the way, today I brought along my "scratch book" because I got pretty bored during the breaks, and the workers liked what I drew (ie- the image to your right). My main reason for coming up with this is because a good friend of mine, whom I shall call VeeNee, has put me to shame with her own spectacular drawings.

Now VeeNee has returned to her native Mauritius, so I'm hoping that she'll end up seeing this from her island paradise (to be honest, I'm not entirely sure if it is a paradise. I don't know that much about Mauritius, all though at one time I thought they served deep-fried swans). So, I'm hoping that VeeNee can have a look at this one, and any comments from my regular viewers (ie- Chappi-Clementina, Svnof, Janet etc.) would be lovely... hint, hint.

PS. Watching a movie by Guillermo del Toro is inspiring... Pan's Labyrinth to be extact.

The Epiphany

2008-11-10T13:57:00.003+11:00

Greetinko's to all. Yesterday was a very good day for my, because I finally wrote the best part of my novel. I'd been gunning to write this chapter since last year, so I was very pleased with myself once it was done.

The chapter involved my novel's possibly main antagonist getting what he deserved for killing a few people. One of my three protagonists shot him in the back, and another will scare him shiteless. I'm very happy.

Apart from that, I helped my Mum do a bit of gardening, which wasn't bad. I was surprised to see how many young people were buying vegetable seedlings at Bunning's on Sunday. Now I want to return and buy a fruit tree.

Another good thing happened today. The temp agency I'm registered at called with a job offer. I unfortunately did not get it because I learnt about the offer from the answering machine, and the position had been filled. Damnation! But my fingers are crossed for tomorrow.

Yesterday Was The Last

2008-11-07T12:28:00.003+11:00

Well, it happened. Yesterday was my last day of TAFE. Graduation is in a month, but I've finally finished with learning stuff... for a while. This was something I just needed to talk about (in the style of Daria). It was worth it, and now I can work on my novel a lot more.

PS. Hi, I'm Daria... go to hell.
-Jane Lane as Daria Morgandaughfer

It's Like Fight Club Meets Thirteen

2008-11-01T13:04:00.003+11:00

Greetings all. A few weeks ago my schools writing festival was on, and it was compulsory to attend. I did go, and I enjoyed it I did. Anyway, my main reason for going was to see James Phelan speak and get him to sign his books for me (which he did. Score). And on the same day, another thriller writer, Andrew Hutchinson, was talking about his book Rohypnol.

I was curious about the book, and had asked a few lady friends who had read it. They said it was good, so I go and get a copy. Basically, the book is about a gang of private school boys (probably Xavier) who go out, drug girls and rape them. Pretty taboo I thought, but I read the whole thing in about seven or eight hours, and I loved it... and was scared too.

The book was different because it's narrated through the eyes of the main character who is basically the monster. I don't come across much fiction with this premise, so it was a welcomed change. Also, it had a very dark and angry tone. The inner monologues about 'New Punk' were freaky, but good.

Another good aspect was that I didn't know whether or not to feel sympathy for the narrator, or hate him. I thought he was just naieve and willing to do anything to fit in with the cool crowd (do drugs, perve on female teachers etc.) but in the end I thought he was a bigger bad-arse than the actually bad guy, Thorly.

So those are my thoughts. I understand why some people at the festival told Hutchinson that he scared them. If I'd read the book before that day, I'd of told him the same thing... whilst getting it signed. No matter, and then I decided to add him to my list of scariest people. Hutchinson must contend with Lost and Fringe actor Lance Reddick. He is just freaky.

Second Wave

2008-10-30T17:15:00.003+11:00

Greetings good readers (whether you actually exist is still to be learnt). I have been very busy at the moment, what with end-of-year assignments to be handed in. Some of them include an annalytical essay, a short story and about 20,000 words of a novel.

Anyway, I have found the time to post a drawing I finished last week. I wanted to submit it to my schools anthology, but my teacher didn't want anything with a grey scale. Naturally, I am feeling a little peeved, but I shall bounce back.

I call this drawing "Second Wave". I got the idea from the painting "The Wave", which was painted by a Japanese artist. Sadly I do not remember the artists name, but he or she had a lot to do with this drawing. I hope you enjoy it.

Something I Just Did

2008-10-17T20:38:00.007+11:00

As of late, I've been doing a little bit of drawing to pass the time, plus there's a good chance that I could have some pictures published soon, provided that other people like them enough.

Plus my good friend Calliope has been bugging me to post my art on the internet.

I have named the first drawing "Nymph", simply because it is a woman growing out of a tree. I quite like that way the black pencil in the hair stands out.

The second drawing I have named "Pigeon Boy". I got the idea for this drawing from my teacher Maria who was showing us photos of her son playing with some pigeons in Venice.

Hope you enjoy these my dear Calliope, and anyone else who will look at them... more will come soon, promise.

Needy, Ears and Dignity

2008-10-17T20:24:00.003+11:00

This week in short story, my good teacher who I shall call Maria (How do you solve a problem like Maria?) had us talking about love. Apparently it is our theme for our next short stories, and I'm pretty confident that I'll get mine right. Anywho, she had us write out these little practises, and she thought mine was funny, yet it did not follow the guidlines of the assignment. Enjoy.

Needy coughed, 'They always take me for granted! Stuck up bastards!'

'Don't let it get you down,' answered Ears.

'No, those wankers... all of them... think that I just expect to be ignored. Nah, not happening anymore mate.'

'What're you gonna do about it?' Ears asked with as much enthusiasm to rival a teapot.

'You know what,' said Needy. 'I don't think I'll do anything.'

'Really.'

'That's right. Let those ungrateful idiots suffer without my divine guidence.'

'So you're basically letting 'em burn in hell... and you're gonna watch.'

'Exactly,' Needy answered, producing a cheesy smile.

'Well, sounds like you're set, mate.'

'I certainly am. Maybe, I'll even have some spare time now. A lot of spare time.'

'You gonna write that award winning novel you tell your mum about?'

'That's right. A lot of free time.'

'Wonderful.'

'Hey, you wanna come out tonight? Celebrate my success,' Needy suggested, admiring himself in the nearest reflection.

'No thanks. I've got a date tonight.'

'Oooh, with who? Anyone I know?'

'You used too. Their name's dignity.'

'Oh... my... God,' Needy gasped. 'You're going out with a guy.'

His eyes lit up before sticking his head out the window. 'Ears is dating a guy!' Needy proclaimed to the streets.

'Yes, that's right,' Ears answered. 'You must feel so proud for learning such a thing.' Needy continued to call out to the streets, and Ears left the room, locking him in.

Where Do I Get My Grenades At?

2008-10-05T11:38:00.005+11:00

Last year in novel, my teacher (we'll call him Ari) had us rewrite the lyrics of I AM WOMAN by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton to accomodate for the bogans of the world. We all had good fun, so this is what I produced.

I'm a bogan watch me gore
We drink in packs of four of more
And I know fuck all so I guess I can't pretend
'cause you've bitched it all before
When I throw up on the floor
And I can't be stuffed to clean that shit up again

CHORUS

Oh yes, I am wide
And it's cracksores all again
Yes, I skipped the price
But look at the weight that I just gained
If I feel like it, I won't do anything
I am bum (bum)
I am unbearable (unbearable)
I am bogan

You can slap and kick me down
'cause it's what everybody wants
More determined to demolish me dingy hole
And I come back smelling pongier
Not a genius any longer
'cause you've doubled me conviction for assault

CHORUS

I am bogan hear me groan
See me stand up for the court
Cos I threw me outstretched hands around your neck
But I'm still a fat yobbo
With a fat arsed way to go
Until I make my first parole

Oh yes, I am wide
And it's cracksores all again
Yes, I skipped the price
But look at the weight I just gained
If I feel like it, I won't do anything
I am bum (bum)
I am unbearable (unbearable)
I am bogan
Oh, I am bogan
I am unbearable
I am bum

REPEAT FINAL LINES AND FADE

I Thought This Would Be Hard

2008-09-27T20:21:00.006+10:00

For the final novel class of the term, my teacher, who I shall call Monday Esme (I have two teachers I'll call Esme, one for Monday and the other on Friday), instructed us to write a sex scene. Many of us were nervous, and a little shy. I'll have to say that my friend, who I'll call Janet, might have been scared since she writes for children.

But Monday Esme made it easy, and boy did she. The sex scene had to be awkward she tells us, and I thought... I can work with this. So, over the course of a Sunday afternoon, I wrote my scene, which I then read to my mother who couldn't help but laugh. Everyone else who heard it laughed as well, so I thought again... this could work.

Garritt and Stella were giggling, much like young lovers did on their first time. They were rolling around under the sheets, quickly undressing. 'Hurry up with those,' Stella told him. She was ready to slip the condom on him.

'I'm going, I'm going. Why don't you slow down a bit,' Garritt answered.

'I'm never slow, now hurry up. House is on soon!'

'Yeah, yeah.' A few seconds later his underwear were thrown across the room, hitting the cupboard door. 'There, they're off.'

'Oh my God!'

'What the hell is wrong now?'

'Oh my God, Becky!' Stella shouted, getting off of the bed. She wrapped herself up in the sheets.

'What the hell is wrong with you?' Garritt asked, looking needy.

'You're pierced down there?'

'Wha? Oh yeah, I am. Had it for years.'

'How can you be pierced down there?'

'It was a group decision,' he answered, 'now come back to bed. You said you'd do it with me.'

'Not with your little friend like that. What if it... gets hooked on me.'

'It won't. Hasn't happened before.'

'Don't tell me that,' Stella shouted whilst pacing the floor. 'This isn't going to happen mate.'

'Come on!' he whined.

'No! Honestly, why couldn't it be a little tatt saying All Aboard Sailors.'

'Can't get a tatt,' Garritt told her. 'Mum said it was a ring or nothing.'

'You're mum wanted you to get it down there?'

'Nah, she said anywhere was fine by her.'

My Enchanted Flying Elephant

2008-09-20T17:27:00.004+10:00

This here is a piece of writing I did for my editing class. Our teacher, who I'll call Esme told us the pieces we'd have written would go into an anthology, but I recently learnt that Esme told us a little phib. To be honest, I didn't mind since I could just blog my work, and I couldn't help but praise Esme on her ability to lie so convincingly. The greatest liars in the world are generally the most honest ones.

Anyway, the prose I had written was meant to incorporate the them "Immunise Your Soul". To be honest, I didn't have much of an idea of what to write, so I just did what I always do when I'm stuck on something, a mindless rant. I hope you readers (if you truely do exist) enjoy this.

Immunise your soul, what the hell? I mean; what am I supposed to do with this, huh, save the damn world? Of course the world needs saving, what with Krispy Kreme and Tom Cruise running around. That man's like a plague, I tell you.

Anyway, that's what I thought when I was given this theme. When I read these three little words, the first thing that popped into my head was 'meh'. I guess I could work with this. We had an 'average' word length and the option of writing prose or a poetry as well.

Big whoop, big whoopity whoop, I thought. This might be a walk in the park for all I knew, or else. When I think of that, I imagine walking through a room overflowing with Paris Hilton wannabes, suitably dubbed Parisites.

However, it just might be an afternoon with the Parisites, simply because I've got no fucking idea as to what 'immunise your soul' bloody means. I thought about it long and hard, on the train, during dinner, when I was delivering newspapers for a ridiculously small fee.

I thought I was screwed, just like Britney Spears every day of the damn week. But then I remembered the one thing that could help me. It was ever so clear and out there, yet I'd overlooked it completely. Guess the brainwashing by Wikipedia is to blame for that, convenient bastards.

I am of course talking about... (wait for it) the dictionary. Oh what a joy it is... to school boys who have no lives to speak of, my friend Ingles, and Malcolm X. Why he copied it out when he was doing time and told his spiritual leader all about it, I'll never know. To be honest, I saw it as more of a lifesaver, except dark blue and in the shape of an oblong.

So, I looked up what the damn theme means, and in short form it means, protect your damn soul you doped-up hippie wanker. I thought: How am I going to do this one? Ever so thought provoking... I thought, and then I thought some more, then I ran away, and then I thought some more.

Then, after having my drink spiked by a back-stabbing family member who knows I don't consume alcohol, I decided I couldn't work with this at all. I mean, something could be done with this theme, by someone else. If I took it I could have turned the human soul into an ostrich egg and shoved it up the arse of a tortoise for protection. A giant tortoise to be exact.

There could be so many ways in which to use this theme, yet I knew of none of them. Madness, that's what I thought about it, and then I thought about ice-cream. Surely there was something out there for my good self, but in the end, there wasn't.

After my long, arduous journey to think up an idea for this theme, I humbly got up on my enchanted flying elephant... which was also a robot if you're wondering, and flew away to escape the plague of destruction Krispy Kreme has in store for us. And then it hit me, why not write about the trouble I had with using this theme.

The writing teachers are always encouraging us to not use cliches, share our little diarrhoer inducing berries, and most importantly, be creative. So that's what I did, and here is what I came up with; a page and a half of mindless dribble that will most likely wind up in a cat's litter box somewhere.

I certainly hope you enjoyed the BS I pulled out of my arse. I know Svnof did... well, not all of it.

There Are Too Many Blonds!

2008-08-28T15:33:00.003+10:00

Greetings people, just thought I'd tell you all that I've decided to do away with my original plan of writing blog stories about vampires. The decision struck me when I realised that I honestly could not be stuffed with it. Besides, I've got other problems to deal with, such as how my throat is currently on fire.

That's right, I am sick and in pain. Don't really know how it started (don't go blaming wearing shorts in the summer) but I'm hoping my disease will either move on to another unfortunate bastard or disappear completely. Fingers crossed. Besides, this "new" doctor I saw yesterday gave me some medicine which I'm hoping will do the trick sooner than later.

So, my main ranting for today is about the show Heroes. I've been watching it since it started, and one things I've noticed (apart from the fact that Claire Bennet and Peter Petrelli are such emo's now) is that most of the women on the show are blonds. What the hell I said to my good self.

Honestly, they have way to many of them. You've got Hayden Panettiere, Ali Larter, Kristen Bell, Jessalyn Gilsig, Brea Grant etc. I know it's all "speculative fiction", but in that you've got to use a fare bit of realism. One example would definately have to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which pulled that off spectacularly.

So that's what I've got to say for the moment, there are too many blonds in the world of Heroes. Real life is fine, because when you're walking down a street and you see seven of them, you're bound to run into nineteen or so brunettes.

PS. Claire and Peter are such emo's!

My Intended Postings

2008-08-20T19:50:00.003+10:00

I have recently been looking at the vampire characters of Joss Whedon (best known for Buffy and Serenity) and I've been thinking (yes Kat, I can think), I wouldn't mind creating some of my own little vamps and posting their stories for you good people to hear. What do you think?

I have one in mind, which has been inspired by two characters. One is a Whedon character most people know as Darla. For anyone who doesn't know, Darla is one of his oldest characters and the reason behind the mistake that is Angel (damn I hate him). She was portrayed by Julie Benz who is now on Dexter.

The other character is a cylon from the new Battlestar Galactica (yes, I know I'm a hard core fan, but do I care about the negativity, no). Anyway, her name is Gina Inviere and she's one of the Number Six models played by Tricia Helfer.

So anyway, these two ladies of fiction sort of inspired a vampire character of mine, which, now that I think of it, I will write about on my dear blog. Don't worry about thinking about it now, I'll just start when I can be buggered. Peace.

PS. I'm thinking of naming my vampire after a famous fictional character. Try to figure out which one it is.

Guitar Heroes, How I'm Not One Of Them

2008-08-09T22:56:00.005+10:00

My good friends from school, who we'll call Ray and Joanie for this posting were having one of their get gatherings, so I decided to go. I'd missed out on the other two for personal reasons, and my other option for what to do this evening was to attend my brothers dinner thing on Russell St with his friends. Since the Church of Scientology is on Russell St I decided to attend my friends party since I'm pretty sure the church has me on one of their hit lists.

Anyway, tonight wasn't so bad. It was one of those parties where the things you don't regularly see occur, such as a rat named after Stevie Nix, a small bagpipe on the wall and a samurai sword standing up in the corner. Anyway, amongst all of that was the game that nearly everyone I know is talking about, Guitar Hero.

We were all giving it a try, and when I did it I pretty much butchered a KISS song. I was pretty sure Joanie was gonna hurt me since she's a huge KISS fan, but nothing happened. Any of the ways, I decided that this night was the makings of a good posting. Not great, but good. Also my friend, who we'll call Burt was acting like a drugged up groupie at some point, so I think that was pretty memorable too.

Good night to you good people who read my random BS.
PS. To Crazy Chik, wherever you are in the great wide Europe, I just want you to know that I got your text message, and yes, I know you pulled out your gun. Here's to seeing you on Border Patrol, because me and Svnof are looking forward to that. You'll boost ratings.

That's Right, I'm A Writer

2008-07-28T19:28:00.003+10:00

So I'm in my Literature class today, and we're learning about modernism. Nothing much sticks out to me, but I learn it anyway, and soon enough my teacher has us doing some writing tasks. The first one is that we had to read a book or document, take five or six lines and turn it into a bit of a poem.

I'm currently reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac, so I took some lines from that and created this little number,

It was a war with social overtones,
He put an ordinary fan in a window frame,
Then it finally happened,
We got to the house where the waitress sisters lived,
It was a wonderful night.

Not too shabby if I don't say so myself. The other writing task was to take an object and write a few lines about it. I took a black coffee mug, and I ended up with some badly written haiku.

Made of cold clay,
Smooth and curved,
Dark as the night,
Easily breakable.

I thought it was a bit crap, but two women in my class (we'll call them Delia and Meg) thought it was really good. Surprised I was. Delia had been praising me for some of the things I'd brought up in class discussions, so I guess she was on a role. Also, Delia and Meg do a bit of poetry, so I guess they know the good stuff when they hear it.

That's all for now good bloggers. Peace.

They've Done It Again

2008-07-17T16:16:00.003+10:00

Let's talk about my two favourite girls, Chappi-Clementina and Svnof. I was watching their favourite show last night, Criminal Minds, and their number one character on it, JJ, killed the guy who was going after Garcia. All was good, and after seeing her pop the barstard in the head, I knew Chappi-Clementina and Svnof were going to be talking about this.

So I arrived at my publishing class this morning and Chappi-Clementina was there, and soon enough I brought up JJ and they were talking about how great she is. I kept laughing, as per usual, and then Chappi-Clementina starts saying how great it would be to get shot by JJ herself, and how she wouldn't want the bullet removed.

She started telling me, 'If JJ shoots me, and the doctors try to remove the bullet, I'll say "no, no, leave it in".' That's just one of the many quotes she's taken from The Simpsons, specifically the episode where Sherry Bobbins comes in and Marge's hive is able to support a beach umbrella, and Homer tells her to leave it in whilst they're having sex.

Anyway, Chappi-Clementina, Svnof and my goodself were pissing ourselves whenever one of us used that line. Surprisingly enough we weren't cracking up our friend Bugsy, who is easy to crack up. No matter, once again my hat goes off to Chappi-Clementina and Svnof. Well done you crazy bitches.

No, It's Not Super Sweet... Idiots

2008-07-13T14:31:00.003+10:00

Let's get back to the topic of crazy all right, and how it's gotten different everywhere you look. I am of course refering to that stupid MTV show Super Sweet Sixteenth, and the idiot teenagers they've got on it.

I saw a part of it today, and the boy (yes, it was a boy this time) was planning his 16th. Now this rich little punk was getting ready for the damn thing, and he got all drama queen wanker when his hair was cut too short. Oh my God! I wanted to jump in there and slam my fist into his face.

I just want to say, that show is PATHETIC. Every rich little barstard and biotch on it is so stuck up and in the end they get their own little prom which they can't decide whether to go to or not in the end. I don't even envy them, except for the part where Rihanna rocked up to one of those parties.

That's all I've got to say on the matter, that yankee rich kids are pathetic and they should be poor, or attacked by face-huggers. Whatever comes first.

And I Pull Out My Gun!

2008-07-13T14:00:00.004+10:00

Okay, let's talk about different types of crazy. In all of my nineteen years, I've seen a lot of this so-called crazy shite, but in the last few years I've noticed that it's gotten a little out of hand. This I've seen in films, television and of course... in real life.

I'd like to bring up the best type of crazy though, the all too dear... Crazy Chik. The chik (yes, I spell it with two C's) is by far the maddest person I've ever met, and it works for her. Crazy Chik, who we'll call Chappi-Clementina just keeps coming up with the funniest lines EVER! For instance, the title of this posting is one of her many quotes.

Sure, it might not sound too funny, but when Chappi-Clementina says it, everyone starts laughing. For instance, she will say "I was reading my Deathproof script, and I pull out my gun!" Another quote she loves using is "It begins!" which was stolen from The Simpsons if anyone's wondering.

Oh, and let's not forget... the plan. Since my goodself, Chappi-Clementina and our other friend, who we'll call Sailor Venus's Number One Fan, don't care much for Krispy Kreme donuts, we've convinced ourselves that anyone whose eaten one will turn into a zombie and the world will end. So, we've prepared ourselves for such a thing.

Our plan is to drive around in an armoured truck and survive the damn thing whilst listening to freaky old time bands such as Hanson's Mmm Bop! and The Spice Girls if we remember too. I, who have eaten Krispy Kreme (I know, it's a shame), will be half-zombie and will be sitting on top of the armoured truck in a banana chair ready to shoot the zombie Tom Cruise with my toilet plunger gun.

Sailor Venus's Number One Fan (we'll call her Svnof- ooh, I've Sweded her) will be sitting inside of the armoured truck ready to change the music and scream out in joy when Chappi-Clementina says Girlicious. And of course, Chappi-Clementina will be driving the damn truck because she's the only one of us who has her P's.

If you're wondering how she'll be driving the truck, just go and watch Quetin Tarantino's Deathproof and pay very close attention to the character Kim Mathis, played by Tracie Thoms. Chappi-Clementina is basically the white version of Kim, and when I told her this, she felt damn proud about it.

Yes, that's all I can tell you about us, the amazing the trio. We're hoping to have a movie made about us, and in it Svnof will be played by triplets, and I shall be played by a killer robot driving instructor named Sicko. Oh, and the name of the movie And I Pull Out My Gun!

No, It's Not All Good Atticus

2008-07-09T18:49:00.004+10:00

So I'm having a decent day today. I went out with Mum to have lunch with some family at an RSL in Coburg, where my Grandpa lives. It was a good day, I had steak and I also won the woopie cushion that my aunt was gunning for. Not only that, I also found out where Anthony Koutoufides's restaurant is which is good since my sister and I are planning an adventure there.

But something isn't right about today. I am of course talking... about air. Why is there so much of it people. Don't we have enough of it? Can't we send it to another planet? I don't know, I'm just posting mindless dribble. Another thing I'd like to talk about are... beetroot. Why does it exist, well, that's natures fault. Why the hell can't it just die out like the power that the Nazis held over the Jews.

So this all I have to say really, because Atticus demanded it. I hope you're proud of this Atticus, because like the title suggests, it's not all good! Thanks for listening.

Here You Are Calliope

2008-07-06T13:52:00.005+10:00

For a while now some people have been telling to throw some art onto my blog. I've been meaning to, since my blog doesn't look too flash in the visual sense, but now I've got an image.

I originally painted an image like this for my VCE Art folio, but I realised that it would look a whole lot better done in charcoal.

I have named it Old Women in New Kenya. For my folio I decided to do cultures as my theme, and Kenya was one of them. The others included Guatemala, Italy, Thailand and Spain.

Anyway, I chose Kenya because I wanted to depict how the industrial world is taking over the country, and how it might do away with the tribal culture.

I painted these women because I decided to incorporate them into every painting that I did. The idea for these women comes from Rachel Marete, a former Miss Kenya who had this nice tattoo on her forehead. A knock-off tatt has been drawn on the middle woman's forehead too.

This is what I hope is the first of many images, and for my sister Atticus and friend Calliope, please get off my back about posting my art. It's done, and more will come. Promise.

Don't Go There

2008-07-04T22:55:00.003+10:00

Today had its downers I'm sorry to say. My sister Atticus/Blanche was working at the Shrine in Melbourne, and my mother and I were going to meet up with her so we could go to the museum. So, when we get off the train we get something to eat, and I suggest Lord of the Fries, which is this new place that my sister kept telling me about.

So we go there and I order some chips and chicken nuggets, and they were just damn auful. First of all Mum wouldn't eat the chips because the guy serving us covered them in tomato sauce (mostly my fault) and she doesn't care for the sauce so much. Second, she take one bit of the nuggets and cannot stand them.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said they sucked. I try them too, and I agreed with her. They were terrible. Honestly, if they didn't taste like rubber they were tasting like a juiced-up prawn. Oh how we did not enjoy lunch today.

Lord of the Fries I think not. They're more like the Lord of the Lies.

Rusty, the Original Good One

2008-07-02T16:22:00.000+10:00

My other postings have been regarded as quite humorous by those who have read them. Apparently I possess the ability to make people laugh with my random scribblings about Mexico, stealing my mothers wine, Bionica from Gladiators and most of all, nothing. But now I'm going to be a little bit serious. When I mean serious, I will be using real names.

A tragic event occurred for my family this morning. Our pet dog of eighteen years, Rusty, passed away. Like most people, we were very upset, because like the title suggests, he was the Original Good One. Anyone who knows me will understand what a "good one" is, and that's the best type of person ever!

Rusty was very devoted to us, and everyone else who knew him. We all loved him to pieces, so we've got some grieving ahead of us. The hole he's left here will never be filled again. This hasn't been a good year for us, since we've already lost three people who were close to us. But I can't help but remember the good times we had with Rusty.

We first learnt of his existence back when I was in kindergarten. My uncle Chris called my Dad up and said this scruffy brown dog had jumped off of a truck and had walked into his factory. He took a liking to him, and deemed the dog too lovely to be sent to a pound. Next thing you know, he's calling Dad and the next day my parents and I are going to the factory to meet this creature.
Dad was a bit skeptical about taking the dog home, since my Mum wasn't big on them at the time. However, their minds changed when they saw how much fun I was having with the dog. At the time I didn't know that we were going to take the dog home with us. My highlight of that day was when I got some dim sims for my lunch.

Everything started to come together when I got home from kindergarten that day. When my brother and sister (who most of you will know as Babette and Blanche, but are really named Graeme and Kathlene) came home from school they took a liking to him as well. We were all patting him when Mum and Dad told us that he was ours to keep, and Dad had named him Rusty.

After that things became a little hectic. For instance, after getting him, Rusty tried to escape twice. His attempts failed, but when he saw us giving him free food, he decided to stick around, for the next decade or so.

Another funny thing to happen was when my friend Samantha's mum saw him in the driveway. One of his legs was out of view, and questioned whether or not it had been amputated. We got a good laugh out of that.

Over time everything was pretty average, and Rusty was getting a little bit of a paunch. We had to put him on a diet, which I don't think he cared for so much. Eventually he became an over-sized sausage dog, which we were fine with.

Unfortunately something happened that I did not for see. I was in year seven, it was the end of the day and this kid runs up to me and says, "Hey Brian, I heard you've got a fat dog." Now I had no idea how this kid knew about Rusty, and I didn't even know who the kid was. Eventually I found out and over time I became good friends with Degszy.

Anyway, some other kids started talking about Rusty, and I didn't care much for the dialogue. Soon enough I made it clear that my dog was off limits, and those who didn't care for my warning received a fist in the stomach (bit of an overstatement). But everyone soon decided to put the topic to rest, and when they all saw him at my eighteenth years later, they loved him.

Over the years we started to believe that he had some cat in him. What I mean is that he seemed to have about nine lives, since he'd been cheating death every so often. One time he was bitten on the neck by a white-tailed spider, and he recovered from that. Another was when he was having fits during the summer from the year before, and he got over them too.

Unfortunately he ran out of lives and simply wore out. I guess he just decided to stop after 126 of human years. His passing happened on the morning of July 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 (rough estimate). He went peacefully in my brothers arms, and then the tears started.

We will always miss our beloved Rusty. He was always a member of the family, despite being of a different species, but that didn't mater. Wherever he is now, we hope you're happy and barking at people you don't know. If you see anyone we know, you're in good hands.

Rest in peace Rusty.

Finally!

2008-06-30T10:24:00.000+10:00

As most people would know, I am a massive fan of Gladiators and I try to catch every episode, provided nobody is wasting my time. Anyway, I was most pleased with last nights episode, mainly because Bionica finally competed one on one against Jacquie the Mighty Mouse.

Now I'm a big fan of hers (say what you will, because I don't care) and up until last night I never saw her play a game on her own. She was always working with the other female Gladiators.

To be honest I was a little worried that she might not do the one on one thing (not being sexual you perves), but last night she proved me wrong. Now she's cannot be replaced as one of my top four (the others being Scar, Olympia and Kouta).

Well done Bionica.
PS. Atticus, if you keep giving me weak comments we're gonna have issues.

About My Fan Club

2008-06-29T17:09:00.000+10:00

First of all, special thanks to Atticus Sampson for your comments about "The One Blanche Wanted". They were very nice and un-offensive. I hope others can follow your shining example. Also, I'd like to thank Blanche for getting me to write that post. You and Atticus are one in the same you are.

Now, for this post I'd like to talk about Mexico, that colourful country where supplies half the cast of Ugly Betty. Anyway, I happen to love Mexico, and it's on the top of my list of places to go once I've got a passport and money to travel.

I love it so much my hotmail address is la_mexican, and my art idol is the legendary Frida Kahlo. The uno-brow aside, I still think your amazing. I love Mexico so much that I've quite possibly created the greatest Mexican character there is (over statement). She's a firery little lass in my science fantasy series, and heres hoping that she'll be played by Salma Hayek in any adaptations one day.

Anyway, I'd like to talk about how Mexico seems to like me, or at least its many citizens who get hotmail. Apparently my address la_mexican has caused many of it's citizens to add me as one of their contacts. Everyweek I get e-mails from Enrique's, Marisol's and Julio's, asking me if they can become one of my contacts.

I am very flattered by all of this, really, but I'm very cautious about who I add as my friends. I mean their are some freaky people surfing the net, and I honestly don't want anything to do with them. They give me the heebee jeebees (quote by Johnny Sullivan from In America- brilliant film and they were robbed of their best screenplay Oscar. Damn Sofia Coppola).

That is all I really have to say on the matter of Mexico. I may say more in the future, I may not. It depends on wether or not America can wow me with their series The Wire. Have a good day readers, and Atticus/Blanche.

The One Blanche Wanted

2008-06-28T17:58:00.000+10:00

So my sister, who some of you may know as Atticus Sampson (the movie quote queen- that's a bit of an overstatement) has demanded that I write a new entry for my blog. So I've been wondering what I should write, and I asked myself over and over again.

Then fortune smiled on me, when Mum was drinking her wine. Now I have an annoying habit of stealing my mothers wine and hiding it from her, and she has to find it with the few hints that I give her. Todays little event was most humurous.

I did it twice today, the first being ruined by my brother (we shall call him Babette) who found it for her and then mocked me for my actions. Anyway, I did it again whilst she was playing one of her computer games and hid it in Babette's room. It was about an hour and a half before she realised that it was missing.

She called me the usual names, which I'm quite fond of now, and I reminded her that it was her fault because I was a planned pregnancy. Moving on, I give her her first hint, which was Z, Z, Z. Wondering what it meant, she did.

Mum started running through all of the rooms looking for it, and I just laughed. She wanted another hint, and I think I snored (like the thing people do when they're sleeping). She took it to heart, and went through the rooms again. Didn't find it.

In the end I just started messing with her mind. Once was when we we're in the livingroom, and she said "hot or cold". I said, "Yes Mum, the lava lamp is hot, and the Coca-Cola bottle lamp that's filled with water is cold". She didn't like that, but eventually she made it to Babette's room, for the third time.

She took a long hard look, and still couldn't find it. I then tell her to close her eyes, and I start spinning her around on the spot. After a minute I stop her and she finally finds her wine. Oh how I laughed, and oh how she wanted to throw something at me. Well done anyway Mum.

PS. For my good friend Big Ross, the Greatest Garden Gnome who ever lived who sadly passed away this year, what do you think. You may not be able to annoy Mum anymore, but you should know that I'm still here to continue your work. Rest In Peace.

The Re-Invented Sha-Bang

2008-06-26T13:59:00.000+10:00

I've always been a fan of sci-fi (the good stuff, which doesn't include the s**t Smallville). When I mean good stuff, I mean The Fountain, The Matrix Trilogy, Gattaca, Dark City, Alien Quadrilogy, Twelve Monkeys and Children of Men.

I love how the writers and directors have mixed the sci-fi elements of these films up with others, like fantasy, religion and drama, and I have to say, they work really effing well. The Matrix Trilogy for one gave new meaning to the concept of a human/machine war.

I especially liked how they turned religious and mythological beings (gods, goddesses, avatars, vampires etc) into machines and programs in human form. My favourites include Persephone (Monica Bellucci) and Rama Kandra (Bernard White) and Kamala (Tharini Mudarliar), who I thought added a good touch to the films.

I just love it! For anyone who's new to my blog, I just want to make it clear, I am a nerd. Judge if you will, but I probably won't care that much. Syke!

It Begins!

2008-06-25T17:35:00.000+10:00

Sup, my name is Minotaur (Not real name, it's the one I'd use if I were a Gladiator). I am a fan of Battlestar Galactica (the new one with the female Starbuck), a part-time artist, lover of independent and arthouse films, and a writer, here in the wonderful land of Oz (Australia), and I've started this here blog so I can show you what I get up to when I'm writing.

I'm also going to state my outrageous objections towards unruly letterboxes, ticket inspectors and Tom Cruise when his trainwreck of a mug is in the media.

Just for the record, I am not blogging so I can follow in the footsteps of Diablo Cody (of Juno fame), all though she is one of the wittiest writers I've ever heard of. And no, I'm not becoming a stripper either.